Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. People decorate their homes with trees and wreaths and lights. Gifts are purchased in mass amounts for relatives and friends. Yummy food like ham and eggnog and candy canes are everywhere. But not for the Jews. To us, Christmas is a time where traffic is out of control. We can't go near a mall for 25 days. And everything is closed on Dec. 25th, leaving us with nothing to do and hardly anywhere to eat.
However, Jews have made Christmas into our own special tradition - movies and Chinese food! Yes, it is something that you can do any other day of the year. But on December 25th, the only two places open are movie theaters and Chinese restaurants. My family used to joke that if a terrorist wanted to kill all of the Jews in South Florida, all they would have to do is bomb a movie theater on Christmas.
In honor of all of my fellow Jews, for this year's Christmas I give you the gift of South Park past: