Friday, January 21, 2011

What I Don't Care to Read on your Facebook Status

I recently decided to start hiding people on my Facebook News Feed whose statuses annoy me. Now I'm not talking about someone posting one thing one time that I didn't like, but rather the consistent offenders. In order to prevent your statuses from being hidden on my feed, here is a list of topics that I absolutely do not care to read about (and I'm sure the majority of normal America will agree with me on a few):

Your Pregnancy Progress
Hooray! You are having a baby! We are all happy for you (truly, I am). However, I do not need to know the exact millisecond until your due date. I do not need to see a photo of you every week to show me how much bigger your baby bump has gotten (cute in theory, but annoying in reality). Pictures of the nursery are fine, as most people can appreciate a newly decorated room. However, photos of every single outfit that you have purchased for your unborn child is not OK. Also, when you are going into labor, I absolutely DO NOT need to know how many centimeters your who-ha has dilated. TMI!!! Also, photos of the baby covered in birthing gooeyness with the umbilical cord still on is NOT Facebook appropriate. Just saying... Oh, and once the kid is born, I don't care to get an update on it every second of the day either.

Inappropriate Profile Pictures
If you have a profile picture that I do not want to look at, then you will be hidden from me forever (unless I want to look you up). Example (and this is my biggest pet-peeve) - changing your profile picture to a photo of your Ultrasound is not something that everyone cares to look at. This is a photo that should be shared once (if that) on your profile as an update. Another offender is the person who chooses a photo that doesn't have them in it. When I search for you, I want to ensure I have the right friend. So do not put up a photo if you aren't in it. This includes a photo of your kids, pets, favorite cartoon character (except for that Child Abuse week), car, etc. I will also hide you if you put up an inappropriate photo. Examples include anything that could be considered soft-core porn, an unflattering picture wearing inappropriate clothing (if you are large and in charge, then don't wear revealing clothing), or a photo of you making out with your significant other (or some random person in a club). The only exception to kissing photos is engagement photos, as these are professional and totally OK in my book.
This photo may result in defriending

God and Jesus
It's totally cool to believe in God and Jesus and whatever else you worship. And it's even OK to let the Facebook world know about it every once in a while. But if you are someone who constantly posts quotes from God or how great Jesus is because he got you a raise at work, then I will be hiding you. Think of Facebook as grade school - we must separate church and state! Yes, I know Facebook is a way to express yourself, but that's what church and bible study is for. And no, this isn't because I am a Jew - I will hide you too if you continue to write statuses in Hebrew.

Just Plain Annoying
If you continuously tell me every little detail of every little thing that goes on in your day, well then you are probably already off my feed by now. I don't care that you ate a banana and ten seconds later you washed it down with some water. I don't care that your dog took a solid poop or that your kid learned to say a new word (unless it's profanity, cause that's really funny). I also hate the people who post their exercise schedules. That's great that you just ran 2.5 miles in 15 minutes flat, but the whole Facebook world doesn't need to know exactly what your workout consisted of.

I could go on and on and on with this topic, but these four offenses are the main reasons why I remove people from my viewing list. Feel free to comment on this post and give your reasons why you hide people. I'd love to hear them so I can find more bait to clean up my News Feed.

1 comment:

  1. I concur! I especially hate the ones about gym-going habits and how much it hurts now but it's sooooo worth it! As if I need to be guilt tripped any more about my gym-going habits. And I especially don't need to know how many kilometres you ran before breakfast.

    And the ultrasound profile pic O.M.G.

    Or what about the people who use their Twitter feed as FB status material. ARGH!

    Ok. Complaint over.